


More than Enough

by unacaritafeliz



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied one sided NurseyDex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27894457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unacaritafeliz/pseuds/unacaritafeliz
Summary: Chris has been Nursey’s best friend for over three years now, so he knows when ‘It’s not a big deal’ means that it is a big deal, and he knows when ‘I’m okay’ means that Nursey’s really not okay. He knows that there has to be a reason why Nursey sitting by himself in the quad right now, instead of knocking back beers with the underclassman back at the Haus.[Dex sometimes makes Nursey feel likes he's not enough. Luckily, Chowder is there to remind Derek just how amazing he is].
Relationships: Chris "Chowder" Chow & Derek "Nursey" Nurse
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	More than Enough

**Author's Note:**

  * For [creativityobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativityobsessed/gifts).



> For Anne, who is the Chris to my Derek, and who makes me feel like I am more than enough

He finds Nursey on the quad, sitting at the base of his favourite tree with his arms wrapped around his knees, staring out at the lake with unseeing eyes. It’s not an unusual place to find the team’s resident hipster, but Chris has never seen him here like this before, without a notebook, poetry anthology or a pair of headphones to entertain him, illuminated only by faint moonlight, instead of the usual, bright afternoon sun.

He doesn’t move when Chris walks up to him, or when he drapes Nursey’s own leather jacket around his shoulders. He's probably warm enough with it, but Chris is Californian, and can’t imagine anyone being outside without a jacket in October in Massachusetts. He sits down next to Nursey, cross-legged and close enough that their arms touch, and waits for Nursey to talk.

“Sorry I left without saying anything,” Nursey murmurs. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Chris leans towards Nursey, bumping their shoulders together gently. “You don’t have to apologise to me,” he says. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m okay,” says Nursey, though he doesn’t sound convincing. Chris turns his head to look at him, and Nursey offers him a small smile when their eyes meet. “I mean it, C. It’s not a big deal. I’m okay.”

Chris has been Nursey’s best friend for over three years now, so he knows when ‘It’s not a big deal’ means that it is a big deal, and he knows when ‘I’m okay’ means that Nursey’s really not okay. He knows that there has to be a reason why Nursey sitting by himself in the quad right now, instead of knocking back beers with the underclassman back at the Haus. But he also knows that Nursey isn’t good at sharing his feelings unless it’s wrapped in layers of metaphor, and the last thing he wants to do tonight is push Nursey out of his comfort zone when he’s clearly already struggling.

“I’m not going to make you talk about it if you don’t want to,” says Chris, quietly. “But I’m going to stay with you until you’re ready to go back to the Haus, okay?”

Nursey’s face twitches, but Chris can’t see it clearly enough to work out what it means.

“Okay,” Nursey agrees anyway.

“And, I’m here for you,” Chris adds on, as soft and gentle as he can be. “If you do want to talk about it.”

“Thanks, C,” says Nursey. “I appreciate it.”

They fall silent, and Chris turns away from Nursey to stare out at the lake, the surface of the water barely visible in the moonlight. Chris is cold even with his hoodie, scarf and gloves, but he's not uncomfortable enough to leave. He wouldn’t move for anything other than Nursey asking him to, would stay out all night in the quad if that’s what Nursey needed to feel better.

He’s not even sure what happened this time. One moment he’d seen Nursey talking and laughing with the underclassman, a bottle of Natty Light clutched in his hand, and the next moment he was gone. Chris can’t imagine what any of the Waffles or Flour did that could have upset Nursey enough to make him leave. He just hopes Nursey eventually tells him what happened, if only so that Chris can make sure it never happens again.

“I was talking to the Flour,” Nursey says, after a while. Despite how quietly he's speaking, the words seem loud in the night time air. “And they were talking about how kind and wholesome Dex is, but uh…”

Chris can fill in the blanks without Nursey having to say it out loud. Dex is a kind and generous captain, and it’s not surprising that the new freshmen are fond of him. But it’s painfully obvious to anyone looking closely enough, that Dex doesn’t always extend that same kindness to Nursey.

Chris really should have known that this was about Dex. It’s nearly always about Dex.

“It’s always easy to think that Dex is just some angry asshole that can’t get along with others,” Nursey continues. “But it's not true. He gets along with others just fine. It’s just me. I’m the only one Dex can’t get along with.”

Chris doesn’t know what to say. He knows that Dex has done selfish and thoughtless things in the past, and he's always guessed that it hurt Nursey more than Nursey was willing to admit. But Chris hasn't ever heard Nursey talk about it like this before, so open and candid about the way he feels. He reaches out for Nursey’s hand, and Nursey tangles their fingers together tightly. It’s not much, but Chris hopes it helps.

“You and Dex have a lot of history,” he says, quietly. It’s an understatement, but it’s true. The Flour have only seen Dex at his best and kindest, while Nursey has seen versions of Dex that even Dex can't be proud of.

Nursey hums. “We do,” he admits. “I know Dex and I didn’t start off on the right foot, but we got better. I actually thought we were friends for a little while there. I thought we were good for each other. I thought he cared about me. But he doesn't care about me anymore. Maybe he never did.”

Chris turns to look at Nursey, who’s staring straight ahead, fidgeting with the hem of his sweater with the hand that's not connected to Chowder's. It’s hard to tell with the angle and the moonlight, but his eyes look suspiciously wet. Chris grips his hand tighter.

“I’m sure he still cares about you,” Chris says, quietly. “In his own repressed-lobster way.”

It’s a real sign of how upset Nursey is that he doesn’t even laugh at that.

“He doesn’t,” says Nursey. “He doesn’t even look at me if he doesn’t have to. Some days he won’t even talk to me, even if I'm trying to start a conversation. I don't know what to do, C. I tried to fix things with him but he doesn’t want them fixed. He just doesn’t care enough.”

Chris frowns. He knew things between Nursey and Dex were generally not good, but he never imagined they were quite this bad. He can’t even imagine how long Nursey’s been carrying this hurt around with him, without telling anyone about how he feels.

“I know I can’t really blame him,” Nursey says. “I know I’m not always the easiest person to be around, especially for him. I just… I don’t know what I did to deserve being cut out like that. I don’t know what I did that was so bad that he couldn’t even pretend to not hate me.”

“I don’t think you did anything,” Chris says, because he truly believes anyone could reasonably dislike Nursey. “I think it’s just how Dex is. He’s always been able to hold a grudge.”

“But he’s my partner!” Nursey exclaims. “The team relies on us being able to work together, on being able to understand each other but he doesn’t even care! I’m not worth the effort.”

Chris gasps. “Of course you’re worth the effort, Nursey,” he says.

“Not to Dex,” Nursey says. “And it’s fine. Like, logically, I know Dex is just one person. Logically, I know that everyone else doesn’t necessarily feel the same way about me that he does. I just…" Nursey paused to exhale dramatically. I wish I was enough for him.”

Chris let's go of Nursey's hand and twists around, throwing a leg over Nursey’s lap and wrapping his arms around Nursey’s shoulders. He pulls Nursey until his face is nestled against Chris’ neck. Nursey’s eyes are damp against Chris’ skin, but Chris doesn’t care about that. The only thing Chris cares about right now is Nursey.

“I’m sorry,” says Chris. “I didn’t know what was happening, or how you felt about it. But Dex is an idiot if he won’t make space for you. You’re incredible, Nursey. And you are enough. Derek I promise - to me you are so much more than enough.”

Chris knows he’s rambling. He doesn’t quite know what he’s saying or if it’s even going to help, but he means it with his entire soul. Nursey is the best friend Chris has ever had, and Chris loves him. He doesn’t ever deserve to be in pain.

“I know,” Nursey says, voice wobbly, against Chris’ neck. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I even care about Dex when I have you but I just...”

“It’s okay, Nursey,” Chris says, placatingly, running his fingers gently against Nursey’s back in a way he hopes is soothing. “You’re okay.”

They stay like that for a little while longer, just the two of them on the Samwell quad in the middle of the night, the world quiet except for Derek's breathing. Chris doesn’t know what he should do. He knows should try to speak to Dex, find out why Dex is acting the way he is and do whatever he can to fix it, but Dex lashes out when he feels cornered, and Chris doesn’t want to accidentally make the situation worse. Not when Nursey’s already been through enough.

Eventually, Nursey’s breathing evens out, and he pulls away from Chris. He swipes at the skin under his eyes, looking embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he says, again. “I think I’ve just had too much to drink, so I’m a bit emotional.”

Chris shakes his head. “Don’t apologise,” he says. “You’re allowed to feel things, D. You don’t have to be sorry for it.”

Nursey smiles at him. It’s small, and not nearly as vibrant as his usual smile, but it’s a smile all the same, and Chris is thankful for it.

“Thanks, C,” he says. “I appreciate you listening to me be dramatic again.”

“I will always listen to you, Nursey,” Chris says. “Do you want me to talk to Dex?”

Nursey shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “It’s not worth it.”

“It’s worth it, Nursey,” says Chris, emphatically. “It’s not okay for him to make you feel like you’re not worthy. Especially when he’s become a better person and a better player since he met you.”

“I appreciate that,” says Nursey. “But I don’t think it’ll help. He’ll probably just get mad that I involved you, and then he’ll probably ignore me on the ice as well and we really can't afford that.”

Chris frowns. Nursey has a point, but Chris doesn’t feel he can leave it like this. He has to do something to fix it, to stop Nursey from hurting, but he supposes he doesn’t have to fix it tonight. Tonight he can just focus on loving Derek as much he can, to make up for anyone who didn’t.

“Well let me know if you change your mind,” Chris says. “The option’s always there.”

Chris turns away from Nursey so that he’s facing the water again, holding his hand palm up in an obvious invitation. Nursey takes hold of it, shuffling until he can rest his head against Chris' shoulder.

"I know, C," he says. "Thank you."

Chris squeezes Derek's fingers, staring out towards the lake. He doesn't know where they'll go from here, but he knows they'll figure it out, together.

**Author's Note:**

> This is part in-character, part self projection and I really did just write it to deal with some fun personal problems of mine but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. We all need a friend like Chowder in our lives, and I’m happy both Derek and I have one.


End file.
